Feedback plays a vital role in personal and professional growth. However, it is not uncommon for feedback to be met with resistance or defensiveness. In this blog, we will explore the reasons why feedback is not well received and discuss the importance of providing well-structured feedback. We will also delve into the essential aspects of receiving feedback well, understanding its value and adopting a growth mindset to improve ourselves and reach our full potential.
Feedback conversations are infrequent
As human beings, we are always on the search for feedback. Each of us wants to know how we are doing. However, when we are called for a feedback conversation, there is fear and anxiety aplenty. One of the most common reasons why that happens is because feedback is provided infrequently. As a result, we start to realise that feedback conversations only happen when there is negative feedback to be shared.
In some organisations, feedback conversations happen annually, half-yearly or even quarterly. That is not often enough. For feedback to become a growth conversation, it must be done regularly, as and when required. The feedback (whether positive or negative) should be provided in a timely fashion. There is no point waiting a couple of months to share feedback with someone - in all likelihood they would have forgotten the incident. Additionally, the person receiving the feedback will think that it was not important enough for you to share in a timely manner. The same goes for when there is positive feedback to share. Would you have a team celebration 2 months after a successful project go live?
The infrequency of the feedback conversations also makes us uncomfortable with how to receive feedback well and channel it towards self-development. If it is done often enough, we will better know how to deal with the feedback being provided and consider how to use it well to get better at what we do.
Feedback is not well-structured
Another key reason why feedback is often met with resistance is due to a lack of structure and clarity of the feedback. According to a survey by Harvard Business Review, 89% of managers believe that negative feedback does not succeed because the feedback giver is not clear enough. A study by Leadership IQ found that employees who received both positive and negative feedback improved their performance by 39%, while those who received only negative feedback improved by just 27%. By structuring feedback effectively, individuals can better understand the intended message and see it as an opportunity for growth rather than criticism.
There are 7 attributes of feedback that must be covered each time. The feedback should be:
Based on accurate and credible information
Timely
Specific with examples
Relevant
Actionable
About behaviour and not the person
About the future
Only when these 7 attributes are covered does the person receiving feedback get anything of value out of it. Let's look at a couple of examples below -
Example of ineffective feedback
3 months ago, Rishab told me over coffee that you were rude to him. I don’t know when or where this happened, but your clothes that day were red. You are annoying him. Figure out how you will solve this. You really should not have done that.
Now, let's look at the same situation, with an example of effective feedback
I noticed that you were rude to your co-worker in the team meeting yesterday. You told him to shut-up. Rude behaviour goes against our company values. In the future, work on controlling your rudeness by pausing before responding.
Which of these examples would you prefer receiving?
0%Example of ineffective feedback
0%Example of effective feedback
As a person that gives feedback, it is important to prepare in advance. Write down your feedback and ensure that you have covered the 7 attributes shared above. You will see an immediate improvement in your feedback conversations.
Feedback is not seen as a catalyst for growth
Feedback serves as a catalyst for personal growth and development. When receiving feedback, it is important to adopt a growth mindset, understanding that feedback is not a reflection of one's worth as an individual but rather an opportunity to improve one's skills and abilities. By embracing feedback as a chance to learn and grow, individuals can develop resilience, adaptability, and a continuous improvement mindset.
Very often the person receiving the feedback does not see the value in the feedback. This stems from the previous 2 reasons shared above - feedback conversations are infrequent and the feedback is not well structured. There are however, a few things that the receiver can do to build a growth mindset and receive feedback well. There are:
Actively listen to the feedback
Be aware of your responses
Be open to the feedback
Understand the message and ask clarifying questions
Reflect on the feedback and decide what to do
Follow up
Feedback is not sought proactively
To foster a culture of continuous improvement, it is essential to actively seek feedback from various sources. This can include colleagues, mentors, superiors and direct reports who can provide different perspectives and insights. By actively seeking feedback, individuals demonstrate a desire to grow and develop professionally.
The next time you deliver a piece of work, seek out feedback by proactively asking your boss, your colleagues on the piece of work and other relevant stakeholders. While you may end up with some superfluous feedback, you will definitely end up with some feedback that you can use to get better.
At Unlock More we help individuals, teams and organisations develop a feedback mindset and make it a part of the organisation culture.
Feedback is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth, yet it is not always well received. Remember the 4 key reasons why feedback is not well received, overcome them and you will enjoy the benefits of accelerated growth.
