We are all unique individuals with our own perspectives, contexts, experiences, and ways of doing things. Most often this diversity leads to misunderstandings or disagreements largely because our narrative of others are rooted in anger, judgements and apathy. The result? - people end-up feeling dejected, hurt, misrepresented and not respected. But here's the thing about conflicts - they don’t always have to be bad, they can be opportunities for growth, and innovation if we approach them with the right mindset and tools.
Conflict resolution is a process of finding a solution that addresses concerns of all involved. To know how conflict resolution works - let's dive into some friendly tips and pointers that can guide us on how to manage workplace conflicts:
Keep Calm:
When tensions rise, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. If you feel your emotions are on a overdrive - take a moment to step back, process and breathe deeply. Count to ten if you need to or go for a walk - shake it off. Remember, it's hard to think clearly or solve problems when we're angry. A calm mind is your best friend in conflict resolution.
Be an active listener:
Really tune in to what the other person is saying. Try to understand their perspective, even if you disagree (be aware of all those background noises in your head!). Use active listening techniques: make eye contact, nod to show you're following, and summarise what you've heard to ensure you've got it right. You might be surprised at how often conflicts arise from simple misunderstandings.
"I" Statements:
Instead of pointing fingers, express how you feel. For example:
Instead of: "You never meet deadlines. You are the only reason why all our projects get delayed!"
Try: "I feel stressed when projects are submitted late because it affects the whole team's schedule” This approach helps the other person understand your perspective without feeling attacked.
Focus on the Issue, Not the person:
Remember, you are both on the same team, trying to solve a problem. Avoid personal attacks or bringing up past grievances - statements like “you always do this”, “you have no self-awareness", “you never understand", "you only think about yourself” should not be a part of your dictionary when you are trying to solve something. Stay focused on the current issue and resolve it constructively.
Common Ground:
There's usually something you can both agree on, even if it's just a larger outcome like wanting a positive work environment. Start with what you share and build from there. For instance, "We both want this project to succeed, right? Let's figure out how we can make this happen together”, or “Let’s just take a step back, hear each other out, and then brainstorm solutions that will work for both of us”
Be Open to Compromise:
The best solutions often come from both sides giving a little. Be willing to meet halfway. Ask yourself, "What's most important here?" and be ready to let go of less crucial points. Making a compromise does not mean you are the “lesser person” it simply means you are focused on the larger goal.
Seek Help:
If you're feeling stuck, seek help. A neutral third party, like a manager or HR representative can offer a fresh perspective and help mediate the discussion. It is essential that the mediator is not a close friend or colleague to either of the parties - this is to ensure fairness and an unbiased optics through the resolution process.
Reflect and Grow:
After the dust settles, take some time to reflect. What did you learn from this experience? How might you handle a similar situation differently in the future? What went well or what could have been improved? Each conflict is a chance to improve your communication and problem-solving skills.
The ultimate goal of conflict resolution isn’t simply to win or force a solution but rather create an environment where all sides feel heard, respected and understood. Handling conflicts well is a skill that improves with practice. Each challenge you face is an opportunity to become a better communicator.
